view member journals

now i know what it feels like to be the roast dinner of a house-proud wife. i've been boiling all week due to the weather. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining, there are already far too many britons doing that, but the unrelentless heat makes it even more difficult than usual to resist the temptation of just sitting around in my underwear.

when i did decide to get out of the house earlier this week i took the short and sticky bus ride to my booba, whose help and guidence i required to try and figure out how to crochet, a task that has been set by my textiles teacher, as over the summer homework seeing as they cannot bear to think of us at home without any work to enjoy. my heart went all glowy when i found out that booba had gone to the shops to purchase a crochet needle for me. and this is a big achievement, believe me, because she can barely walk. she has passed the age of being able to snowboard and surf, although i highly doubt she did either of those, but she also has problems with her legs that can only be solved by surgery, which she is hoping to get at the end of the year. bless her...

yesterday i got the train to sahiras and as i boarded the epping bound train the very helpful overhead voice informs me that "it is hot" so i should "be carrying a bottle of water" and i in turn think thanks very much, there's not much i can do about it now is there you stupid idiot. anyways i arrived at sahiras red faced as she lives at the top of a hill and i assure you the trek up it really does seperate the boys from the men.�once i got there that day was lovely, we had a barbecue and�the bucks fizz was finished off surprisingly quickly and we moaned in upset and dissappointment after�watching for nearly 3 and�a half hours to see andy murray lose the wimbolden semi- final. i am so watching the final just to see andy roddick crash and�burn against federer. heres hoping...��� :)�

Today Justin says, "Everyone loves me because I am so nice and gentle...all my class, my teachers and Taya, Gel, Bella, Paul and Tammy love me and I love them." I ask Justin, did your teacher tell you that you were gentle and nice?� Justin says, "No, I just know."

Justin says, "I have#1 family, which is you, me and grandma and grandpa, then Taya, Isabella, Tammy, Paul and Gel is family #2, then # 3 is Ms. Conty and my friends, then...he whispers, daddy and me.�

I just relized something . I cant get along with my mother. Yesterday I told her that I really wanted to stay in Arkansas but she told me stuff like if I stay in arkansas and she goes over seas how would I fell then and she said she has half a mind to come and get me now and also she said that I best make my mind up that Im coming back to georgia because thats where I am going when the summers over but I have news for her I will not be going back to georgia because if I have to have my dad take her to court to get me to stay here I will because I really dont want to go back to georgia vecause of my stupid step dad Quentin hes a low life back stabbing piece of crap

Ok I have a question or more like a theory of some sorts:

If someone REALLY wants to be your friend again would'nt they just pick up a phone and call you? OR better say your sry and tell it to your face? and not have a relative or someting do it for you???

If someone really wants to be your friend again would'nt they have been smart enought to hear the whole side of a "fight?" ? To hear what was really going on???

If someone really wanted to be your friend would'nt they have....

Theres alot of would've and could've thingy's out there. But my point is why do other people have to apologize for someone else when they are just as capable of doing it them selves???�

Anyways tonight was AMAZING!! hahaha My horse Sonny ran really good we took 1st in poles, 1st in barrels and 1st in down and back. With only one DQ which is really good. Other than that I know some of you are out there thinking... Hey where is her poem?? Well Im working on one right know so yeah hopefully its not to bad...

Well Im TIRED so Im going to go and catch some zzz's before for I crash and hit the key board. Now that would leave a mark. hahaha ttyl

She's back again. Back again to tell another tale. I can feel it. Its only a matter of time before I know for sure.�Who? well its this on girl who lives in my town. She broke my brothers heart after cheating on him with his best friend. Talk about Cruel!!! Well Im done here for know... ttyl

We had plans to go up to Laurel Farm (my dad's family vacation home in ashby mass) for a 50th family reunion and celebration of owning the 250 year old farm house and property.

My mom ended up working so he and I took the China Town bus up to Boston. When Grandma picked us up I had a really red rash like look to my hind legs and my tummy near my uretha.� By the time they got me home to look at it it looked like blisters were forming.

My eyes also were inflammed and red.�

the next day they burst and were pussy. My dad put an antibiotic ointment and by Friday am it was much improved.

My mother came up Friday afternoon and flipped out. she noticed my front pads were also red the black pads where half peeled off as though they were pulled back in a potatoe peeler.

We went straight to the local vet who said it looked very much like a contact burn. maybe hot pavement?� manhole cover?

seemed logical but at the same time I am walked in the shade and not left to stand out on any manhole covers plus I'm not usually out more than 15 mins. Maybe the dog walker got busy on the phone and I sat on the cement too long?� anyway we went home with antibiotic creme and it scabbed over the next day and seemed to be getting better.

my right eye which had a cornea ulcer a few months back then the veins grew over and never retreated leaving me we think blind in that eye and also a dry eye, had two blister like ulcers that definitely looked like they were blistering from the inside out. the good eye my left eye which has lots of pigment kerititis and edema of the cornea lens resulting in a very cloudy view of the world had one small blister (they were all the size of a pin head) and it looked a little yellow like it was pussy or infected. )

My mother started me on terrmycin 3 x per day and continued on the Simulasen Dry Eye Drops(homepath).

I'm sad for a few reasons.

Mandy & Scarlet left on Sunday and I'm missing them sooo much.

I got a call from cousin Michelle to tell me that Aunt Helen has suffered a massive heart attack and needed surgery. She's come through the surgery and will be in hospital for the next 1-2 wks., they're keeping her unconscience for now. They don't know how (or if) she's going to pull through this. I am very conflicted about going out there to see the family - conflicted and sad.

Then the husband decides to argue with me on Monday about something so stupid, so trivial and then during that arguement he took a verbel swipe at me and it felt just like I'd been kicked. The arguement stopped right then but the feeling that I'd been kicked is still hurting. What an idiot he is sometimes!

Maybe today will be better, I'll get used to Mandy being gone, Aunt Helen will improve and "stupid" will not seem so annoying.

I want to talk about Family.� There are not very many people that I'm close to in my family. I AM close to my kids. (My daughter is 19 and my son is 13). I'm not real close to my dad. There's a wall there. My mom passed away when I was almost 12. When I "grew up". Aunts And Uncles didn't keep interest in me, nor my kids. My grandparents are now passed on, they DID keep in contact with me. My friends are more family than my actual family is. Recently, I went to my family reunion. My boyfriend accompanied me. I don't know of anyone who spoke to HIM. They barely spoke to me. Now bear in mind, that I have done nothing to cause a rift in the�family relationship. They just seemed plain stuck-up.� Most of them have moved off, even live in other states, but I can't remember a time when one of them has called said that they were thinking of me.� I'm sure that some of them don't even know the names of my children. Now, I'm thinking, is this not sad? FAMILY!!! What is FAMILY??� I�hope this never happens with me and my neices or nephews. WAIT a MINUTE.� I don't have ANY. I was born an ONLY child. So, I have a granddaughter and she is so cute. She is 15 months. And, I'm NOT married, so I�don't have much of a FAMILY. My dad is divorced from my Step-Mom, but is dating her. Her kids, I don't wish to know. So, there is My Dad, Me, My daughter, Her Husband, their daughter, and my son. My boyfriend. Then there is my good friends Shaunta & David, Stephanie & Tony. They are the ones, who call. They wonder how and what I'm doing. They check up on me. They know my kids. My dad calls. Mostly lectures, but he does call. I call my daughter at least every other day. I make sure she's happy.� I know where my son is. I still tuck him in once in a while. I�never fail to hug him goodnight and before he goes to school. �I LOVE them. That's my FAMILY.

Peace!!!!!!!

My summer has been rather peacful as of late. Not to much has been going on. But I wonder... is this all it will be?

Peacfull; it a word that hold so much meaning to it.. but not everyone has come to terms with it. Yet they all have on different levels.

So I asked myself this question; What am I to do with my life??

im new at this...anyone got an idea on what to do?